Cultivating Meaningful Connections

Having had many coffee chats recently, I’ve realized: Genuine curiosity drives the best conversations. And the way to show curiosity is by asking great questions. I believe asking great questions is the most important skill in any conversation—far more valuable than saying something clever/impressive. In fact, asking great questions is impressive in itself as it involves multiple skills: - Intellectual insight (grasping + building on context) - Emotional understanding (active listening + empathy) - Strong communication (verbal + non-verbal) So, how to ask great questions? We often ask about facts, processes, and surface-level opinions. But the goal should be to go one level deeper. What works for me is asking open-ended questions in these big five: 1. Motivation — "What inspired you to do X?" 2. Decision-making — "How/Why did you decide X?" 3. Emotions — "Are you happy with X?" 4. Challenges — "What was hardest doing X?" 5. Vision — "Where do you see this going?" It’s simple, but it must come from genuine curiosity. You really have to want to know. Be fascinated by people’s lives and stories. Combine this with deep listening, thoughtful contributions and a touch of humor - You'll connect more with almost anyone. And you'll be more memorable to them.

Before designing a workshop, I always ask myself: Where does this group need to go 'from' and 'to'? Understanding their starting point helps me define how I want them to leave the session and what success looks like. Take the Work on Climate community workshop I facilitated a few years ago as an example. This vibrant community—tens of thousands connected via Slack—shared similar goals: transitioning their careers into climate work. Yet many hadn't, yet, developed personal connections in the community. Once I pinpointed their journey's start and destination, I broke down the session using the Kaos Pilots 5E model (guide in the comments 👇🏼). Designing a session that instilled pride in being part of a global movement while fostering personal connections in breakout rooms. With over 200 participants, the energy was palpable. And, I knew the workshop was a success when one participant, inspired by our discussion on how they could continue to support one another, took the initiative to form smaller accountability groups to keep the momentum going. How do you start your workshop design process? Picture: a piece of paper with hand written 5E process outlined with the description FROM Group of passionate individuals committed to finding climate work but not connected to each other. TO a community of individuals who are connected to a handful of others who are on similar paths & feel they belong to a wider movement.

When we remember something, we ignore most of it. Actually, we make an assessment based only on two parts of the experience - the peak and the end. This psychological phenomenon is known as the Peak-End Rule, developed by Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman and his colleagues in a 1993 study. Here’s a breakdown: 1. The Peak: This is the most intense part of the experience, whether very good or very bad. It stands out in our memory and affects how we view the whole interaction. 2. The End: The way an experience ends can shape our memory of it. A good ending can make us forget any bad moments, while a bad ending can ruin an otherwise good experience. Why does this matter? - Communication In any interaction, like a presentation or conversation, the key moments and how it ends shape how people remember you. Start strong, but finish even stronger. - Influence Strategically create memorable moments and end positively to leave a lasting impression. This can make the difference between being remembered as just another voice and being seen as a thought leader. - Leadership Great leaders create experiences with memorable high points and positive endings. This inspires and motivates others while building trust and loyalty. - First Impressions vs. Lasting Impressions Making a good first impression is important, but the lasting impression, shaped by the peak moment and the ending - is even more crucial. - Communication Strategy When preparing for meetings or presentations, focus on both the start and the end. A strong conclusion leaves a lasting impact. How can you apply the Peak-End Rule? - Create Impactful Moments Highlight key moments in your presentations, meetings, and content. These can be powerful stories, big achievements, or emotionally engaging content. - End on a High Note End your speech, social media post, or meeting with a compelling summary, a call to action or a memorable statement. A strong ending leaves a lasting positive impression. - Follow Up After important interactions, send a personalised follow-up message. This strengthens the positive ending and keeps the memory favourable. By focusing on creating significant peak moments and ensuring our interactions end on a high note. We can make a lasting impact and elevate our personal brand. Remember, it’s not just about the first impression – it's about the lasting impression. How do you make sure every interaction leaves a lasting, positive memory?

The MD who proved my entire view on the power of relationships sent me this text at 9:47pm: "Just had drinks with someone I met 7 years ago at a conference. We've exchanged maybe 5 emails since. Tonight he offered me a board seat." Seven years. Five emails. One life-changing opportunity. Most executives think relationship building means endless coffee meetings, forced networking events, and LinkedIn messages that feel like homework. They're exhausted by the performance of it all. But after 25+ years in financial services, I've learned the executives with the deepest networks do something radically different: They invest in relationships like they're building a portfolio, not closing deals. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗼 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 You don't need 500 LinkedIn connections who wouldn't recognize you in an elevator. You need 50 people who'd take your call during their kid's soccer game. Depth beats breadth every time. 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 Send the article that made you think of them. Make the introduction that helps their business. Share the opportunity they'd be perfect for. No ask attached. No quid pro quo expected. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝟵𝟬-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 Every quarter, one meaningful touchpoint with your core network. Not "checking in" emails. Real value: An insight, a connection, a resource. Takes 10 minutes. Compounds over years. 𝗕𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 Stop crafting the perfect elevator pitch. Start asking better questions. The most powerful networkers I know remember your kid's college search, not your revenue targets. One client implemented this approach and told me: "I stopped networking and started actually caring about people. Turns out that's the whole secret." Because authentic relationship building isn't about working the room or perfecting your personal brand. It's about being genuinely useful to people with zero expectation of return. The executive who texted me about the board seat? She hadn't "networked" with that person in seven years. She'd simply been helpful when it mattered, stayed loosely connected, and trusted that good relationships create their own opportunities. Your next breakthrough won't come from the person you pitched perfectly at last night's event. It'll come from someone you helped three years ago who suddenly needs exactly what you offer. Stop networking. Start investing. 💭 What's one relationship you've let go dormant that deserves a genuine reconnection this week? ------------ ♻️ Share with someone who needs to rethink their approach to professional relationships ➕ Follow Courtney Intersimone for more truth about building executive influence

I know a few people who are not curious -- or at least, they never demonstrate that they're curious about ME. They talk about themselves and their interests, but don't ask me anything about my life. They're not demonstrating helpful curiosity. I also know a few people who ask a million questions that are overly personal, or too pushy, or too prying. What makes this worse is when they don't remember what I've shared nor do they remember when I've told them what I am not comfortable sharing. That's not demonstrating helpful curiosity either. We tend to think of curiosity as just asking questions, but it's way more that that. 1. Helpful curiosity is intentional. It's asking questions that serve the other person, not just feeding your own need for information or filling awkward silence. 2. Helpful curiosity is reciprocal. It creates space for genuine exchange rather than one-sided interrogation or monologue. 3. Helpful curiosity remembers. When someone shares something meaningful, you build on it in future conversations instead of asking the same questions repeatedly. 4. Helpful curiosity respects boundaries. It notices when someone deflects or changes the subject, or even directly says not to go there, and it honors those signals without pushing. 5. Helpful curiosity follows up. "How did that presentation go?" "Did you end up taking that trip?" These small acts show you were actually listening. The people I feel most connected to aren't necessarily the ones who ask the most questions. They're the ones who ask the right questions at the right time, remember my answers, and create space for me to be curious about them too. Curiosity isn't just about gathering information; it's about creating connection. And that requires as much emotional intelligence as intellectual interest. #curiosity #emotionalintelligence #leadership

Over the years, I've learned that true hospitality entails not just delectable food and a lovely setting, but also consistency, personalization, and attention to detail. From the time a guest arrives until they leave, every interaction counts. Whether you're new to the hospitality industry or creating your own concept, here is my ultimate checklist for creating a memorable guest experience: ✔️ First impressions set the tone The moment a guest walks through your doors is the moment their experience begins. Make it count. Make sure to greet them with a smile, eye contact, and enthusiasm that embodies the character of your venue. Within the first few seconds, people remember how you made them feel. ✔️ Anticipate needs before they ask Good service turns into great service at this point. Is your visitor running low on water? Between courses, has the table been waiting too long? Does a frequent visitor have a preferred seat or dish? Teach your staff to watch and respond before a request is made. Proactive service fosters loyalty and demonstrates concern. ✔️ Perfect the little details Often, the smallest things have the greatest effects. Consider how the lighting changes from day to night, how a napkin is folded, or how the music enhances the atmosphere. A unified, unforgettable atmosphere is produced by these details. Every location is created with the intention of telling a story, and the details are what make the tale come to life. ✔️ A strong team = exceptional service Without an empowered, well-trained, and mission-aligned staff, no venue can succeed. Being a host is a team sport. Make an investment in your people. Celebrate your victories. Openly discuss difficulties. Above all, establish a culture in which each team member takes ownership of the visitor experience because their concern is evident. ✔️ Tech should enhance, not replace hospitality Use technology to make things smoother, not colder. Digital tools and AI can help personalize menus, expedite reservations, and increase operational efficiency, but nothing can replace the human touch. Instead of reducing interaction, use technology to free up more time for your team to spend with guests. ✔️ Guests don’t just choose food, they embrace experiences We are now in the experience business rather than the food industry. People go out to experience celebration, comfort, connection, and excitement. Create moments that transcend the plate by planning your areas, your service, and your narrative. That's what makes a new visitor become a devoted regular. A successful F&B venue is about how you make people feel, not just what's on the menu. That’s the heart of hospitality. What do you think? What else would you include on this list? I would be interested in hearing your viewpoint. #HospitalityExcellence #CustomerExperience #HospitalityChecklist #7Management

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿: Professional success depends more on friendship quality than network size. We've been taught that professional advancement comes from maximizing connections, cultivating a vast network, and strategically positioning ourselves among influential people. Data tells a different story. After analyzing 15+ years of career trajectories across multiple industries, I've discovered patterns that challenge conventional networking wisdom: 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 #𝟭: Deep friendships predict career resilience better than network breadth. Professionals with 3-5 deep work friendships recover from career setbacks 2.7x faster than those with extensive but shallow networks. These relationships provide the psychological safety needed to process failure constructively rather than defensively. 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 #𝟮: Friendship diversity matters more than status alignment. Career trajectories accelerate faster for those with friends across different functions, industries, and backgrounds versus those whose connections all occupy similar professional spaces. Cognitive diversity among your closest connections drives innovation and opportunity recognition. 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 #𝟯: True professional friendships challenge more than they validate. The most valuable professional friends aren't those who always agree or support unconditionally—they're those who care enough to deliver difficult truths when no one else will. Career acceleration correlates strongly with having friends who provide honest feedback and push your thinking. 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 #𝟰: Friendship ROI increases with time, unlike most networking investments. The professional value of authentic friendships compounds over decades, while transactional networking often yields diminishing returns. The colleagues you genuinely connect with today may become your most valuable allies in 10-15 years. So what does this mean practically? Shift your focus from network expansion to relationship depth: • Invest disproportionately in the few relationships with mutual trust and genuine connection • Cultivate friendships with people who think differently than you • Value those who challenge your thinking over those who simply advance your interests • Build relationships that would survive your professional failure The next time you're tempted to attend a networking event with the goal of collecting business cards, consider instead investing that time deepening a relationship with someone who might catch you when you fall. What's been your experience with the professional value of true friendship? 💚 follow me if you like for more research-backed but counterintuitive career insights 🙂 ♻️ please share to inspire + grow your network

Don't Just Satisfy Your Customers—Delight Them! In the service industry, especially as a corporate trainer, I’ve learned that success doesn’t come from just meeting expectations—it comes from consistently exceeding them. When we delight our customers, we create relationships that go beyond transactions. We build trust, loyalty, and a sense of belonging that makes our clients return time and time again. ✨As Maya Angelou famously said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."✨ From conducting countless training sessions, I’ve realized that clients remember the extra effort you put in to customize solutions for their needs or the small gestures that show you truly care. ✨They’re not just looking for a service—they’re looking for an experience.✨ How can we delight our customers and retain them for life? Here are some simple yet effective ways I’ve applied in my journey, which you can too: 👉Understand their true needs: Go beyond the surface and dive deep into what they really want, even if they haven’t articulated it. 👉Customize your approach: Whether it’s a product, service, or training program, tailor it to suit their unique challenges. 👉Be available and approachable: Customers value responsiveness. When they know you’re there for them, it builds immense trust. 👉Offer more than expected: Surprise them with bonus resources, faster delivery, or an added value they didn’t anticipate. 👉Ask, listen, act: Seek feedback and show them you’re serious about improving based on their input. 👉Build relationships, not just transactions: Focus on long-term connection, not just short-term gains. Think of your customer as a guest in your home. You wouldn’t just serve them tea—you’d make it special by offering their favorite snacks, engaging in meaningful conversation, and making them feel valued. That’s the essence of delighting a customer! ✨ Delight isn’t a one-time act—it’s a culture. Let’s make every interaction memorable, meaningful, and impactful. What’s one thing you do differently to delight your customers and make them feel special? Share your ideas below—I’d love to learn from you! #CustomerDelight #CorporateTrainer #ServiceIndustry #CustomerExperience #CustomerRetention

56% of people find their jobs through someone they barely know. Weak ties are stronger than you think. Yesterday, I wrote about how the people who will change your life a year from now might still be strangers today. That’s not just my hopeful idea—it’s backed by science, and I talk about it in every keynote. In 1973, Stanford sociologist Mark Granovetter introduced a concept that changed the way we think about networking: “The Strength of Weak Ties.” His research found that loose connections—your acquaintances, not your closest friends—are the ones most likely to open doors to new opportunities. Close ties (family, best friends, colleagues) know what you know, think like you think, and introduce you to the same people. Weak ties (distant colleagues, casual acquaintances) connect you to new circles, fresh ideas, and unexpected opportunities. And the data proves it. •56% of people in his study found their jobs through weak ties—not strong ones. •A separate LinkedIn study of 20 million people over five years confirmed that weak ties drive career mobility. •The same principle applies to business, innovation, and even social change—ideas spread faster through weak ties, not tight-knit groups. Hence why we teach companies how to build cross-functional relationships to drive career growth, mentorship, innovation, and change. As I wrote, at our 7:47 dinners, we built this into the experience: •First time, you come alone. •Second time, you bring a friend. •After that, you nominate someone to attend without you. What we found is that growth happens at the edge of our networks. If you want more opportunity in your life, don’t just deepen your current relationships—expand your weak ties. •Say yes to the random invite •Connect for 5 minutes with someone not on your team. •Comment on a 2nd degree connection's post here on linkedin. •Ask a friend to invite another friend to your next gathering. A year from now, you might look back and realize that one introduction—one weak tie—changed everything.

There's fascinating research on popularity that flips everything we think we know about social success (Lansu & Cillessen, 2015). The finding? The people who are most liked are the ones who like the most other people. This flips the usual social script. Most of us enter a party or meeting thinking: “I hope they like me.” But the real power move, the research-backed one, is: • “Who can I like here?” • “Who can I appreciate?” • “Who can I be curious about?” • “Who can I make feel seen?” That tiny mindset shift changes everything: • You stop performing • You start connecting • And people feel drawn to you because you’re making them feel good So here’s your next-event goal (and it’s surprisingly fun): Walk in thinking, “How can I like more people in this room?” And then actually show it with these tiny habits: 1. Look for one thing to appreciate about each person A quick, “I love that idea,” or “You have such great energy,” goes a long way. 2. Lead with curiosity Ask simple warm questions: • “What brings you here?” • “How do you know the host?” • “What’s something good from your week?” 3. Use my favorite “liking cues” • Head tilt = warmth • Eyebrow raise = interest • Soft smile = safety • A tiny lean-in = engagement 4. Give micro-validations • “Oh, that makes sense” • “Tell me more about that” • “That’s interesting” 5. And follow up with my favorite line If someone stood out, send a quick: “I was just thinking about you and our conversation…” It’s the fastest way to stay memorable and it feels really good to receive.